"The Girl Is Mine"

I don't understand the way you think
Saying that she's yours, not mine
Sending roses and your silly dreams
Really just a waste of time
Because she's mine
The doggone girl is mine

Trivia: This was the first single released from "Thriller", reaching #2 on the Billboard Hot 100. But it was definitely was not a song that foretold the coming "Thriller" phenomenon.

On one hand, it's good that this dispute over a girl descends into lame singing, not lame fisticuffs ("Paul, I think I told you I'm a lover, not a fighter"). On the other hand, it's pretty certain that the "doggone girl" will be gone after hearing this song. For these are the possibilities:

• If neither guy is telling the truth about her claims of devotion, she'll quickly disabuse them of the notion that she's either of theirs.


• If both them are telling the truth, they'll come to the realization that they've been played and send her packing.


• If only one them is telling the truth, she'll have to wonder "WTF does he mean 'doggone girl'?"

Regardless of where the truth lies, she'll undoubtedly be convinced that these guys are way lame. Very very rich, but lame.

And the less said about the "25th Anniversary Remix Featuring will.i.am." the better.