Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling
Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand?
If the answer is no, I don't feel your heart beating, then I'd understand that I'd need to call an ambulance right away. Although you're still calmly singing and coming on to me, so I might have to conclude that you're one of the undead. But what type of undead? I think vampires must have beating hearts. Otherwise, why would a stake to the heart kill one, right? So maybe you'd be a zombie, except I'd expect zombies to be clamoring for my brain rather than stopping to croon a sappy love song.
Let's see, you took my hand so you're not a ghost, I don't see bandages so you're obviously not a mummy, and you're not scary enough to be a nazgul. That leaves... unhand me, you succubus!!
Nah, I'm just teasing, don't do that. I'm just babbling because I can't believe you just grabbed my hand and placed it on your boob. Do you really expect me to notice if your heart is beating or not?
(UPDATE 2/27/09: Gotta love this comic...)